Sneeze
by J.A.W.C
Summary: Ahh sneezing- for most an annoyance, for a teleporter? Eh, it can cause a few more bumps in the road. A little rushed and old, I do not own the characters in this story, I’m a demented temporary puppeteer


**Found this while cleaning out my phone. Written ages ago but give it a chance(?)**

Sneezing was the bane of Nightcrawler's existence, every time he would randomly teleport to a random location in the mansion. This in turn led to some *awkward* encounters so a flu ridden Nightcrawler was seldom allowed on missions.

This was the case on this particular day.

The blue furred mutant was curled up on a couch, swathed in blankets, surrounded by tissues and watching the clone wars.

The mutants yellow eyes narrowed at the screen as the clones realised they were attacking each other due to Krell's duplicity.

"Arshlöch" he muttered, sniffing slightly. It had become a well known fact around the mansion that Kurt felt rather strongly about Star Wars, especially the animated series that came into fruition later on.

"Vat I vouldn't do to give zat Krell a piece of my mind" he muttered before slowly settling into a doze while Dogma shot Krell.

Kurt woke feeling hazy, and then his nose twitched.

"Verdamnt" he cursed before sneezing. As expected he teleported.

He yawned slightly, taking note that his nose had mostly cleared up he opened his eyes.

"Uhhhhh" Kurt said, as he was currently in a very familiar mess hall from a very familiar cartoon. Hundreds of clones looked at him with surprise, and really it was no wonder, after all it's not every day a blue furred demon wearing a grey tracksuit suddenly appeared while you were eating.

"Well, zat's new" Kurt said to himself, hopping down off the table he had appeared on.

The clones still said nothing as they watched him warily.

Finally, one stood up (who Kurt immediately identified as 'Rex')

"Who are you and how did you get here?" The captain said in a slightly deeper voice than the one they had in the show.

"Mein name is Kurt Vanger, az for how I got here" the blue furred mutant shrugged, Kurt narrowed his eyes,

"You are taking my appearance rather vell"

The clone raised an eyebrow.

"Am I meant to find you scary?"

The mutant looked down at his attire.

"Eh, point taken"

"Unfortunately, scary appearance or not, we can't let you leave until we find out how you got here and who you're allied with" Rex informed the intruder, and on cue the exits were blocked by some other clones.

"Eh, sure, not like I have anyvhere to go. Please do call the Jedi, I have nozing to hide" Kurt answered lazily, leaning against a wall, he golden eyes never leaving the clone captain.

Rex, admittedly, was slightly surprised, but nevertheless he commed his general and waited.

Kurt's tail started idly tapping the dura steel wall, the noise echoing through the still silent mess hall.

"Zo, how is ze var going?" The mutant asked in a pathetic attempt to start a conversation.

He saw another clone, who he identified as Cody, raise an eyebrow.

"Well enough" Rex answered,

"Why do you speak so weirdly?" Cody asked. Kurt turned his attention to him.

"Becauze I ztruggle to pronounce certain letters becauze, eng-bazic iz not my first language" the mutant answered, grinning.

Cody was admittedly unnerved by the impish grin and pupiless eyes, but did his best not to show it.

The doors slid opened and The chosen one and his padawan stepped into the room.

"Vell zomebody took zeir time" Kurt snorted, "Guten mörgen Herr Skyvalker, Frau Tano"

Skywalker narrowed his eyes, the intruders presence in the force was powerful, and unimaginably dark.

"Sith" he growled, igniting his lightsabre. His padawan followed in suite. Kurt blinked, slowly processing what he was being called. He impish grin grew wider, as he slowly keeled over from laughter.

Anakin furrowed his brow, as the 'sith' doubled over with laughter.

Kurt wiped a tear from his eye with a three fingered hand.

"Oh, zat iz priceless, you honeztly zink I'm a zith?" Kurt finished chuckling.

"Your force signature, it's darker than ventress, than Darth Maul, than even dooku" Anakin replied, rising hostility. Meanwhile Ahsoka had commed the other Jedi.

"Can I help it zat I am ze offspring of Azezel?" Kurt grinned slightly, though less than before as he saw the distrust and anger growing in a (previously thought fictional) man he had come to idolise.

"I am sure zere iz no need for *aggressive* negotiations Chosen One" he amended, raising his hands in what he hoped was a universal a sign of surrender.

"Then why did you come here, if you're not a sith, because you're sure as hell not allied with the Jedi" Anakin growled.

"I didn't mean to come here, I sneezed and accidentally teleported here. It happenz to me from time to time, zo zis iz ze first time I have gone to another galaxy" Kurt explained, while silently congratulating himself for teleporting so far.

"Hold up, you sneezed?" Ahsoka interjected, with a disbelieving look on her face.

"Ja, I was sick. Zo my higher zan average metabolizm means I don't stay sick for long" he shrugged, just as the doors opened and the entire Jedi council poured into the mess hall.

"Ze cavalry haz arrived" Kurt chuckled.

Mace Windu stepped forward.

"Who are you-" he began

"Seriously I juzt vent over all zis" Kurt sighed, "Mein name iz Kurt Vanger, I sneezed and accidentally teleported here, and ze only reazon my force signature iz zo dark iz because Mein fazer is Azezel, ze ruler of hell. Are you zatisfied now Herr Windu?"

The Jedi master blinked a bit before regaining composure.

"How can we trust you?"

"Oh Mein gott, and to zink I looked up to you dummkopfs" Kurt groaned, a twitch in his nose signalled he was going to sneeze so he yelled one final thing before letting out an almighty sneeze and teleporting.

"PALPATINE IZ ZIDIOUS"

"Palpatine is sidious?" Anakin repeated, furrowing his brow.

The incident of the blue furry thing was archived, and never spoken of again.

Palpatine was sure if it.

 **A little rushed I admit, but what do you think? Does it have potential? Constructive criticism appreciated! :)**


End file.
